Fight the Power! (company)

I was on the train this morning, doing my usual routine of reading over people's shoulders and eyeing attractive women in the creepiest manner possible, when I saw some smarmy ads placed courtesy of the local NY energy concern, Consolidated Edison (ConEd for those without a moment to spare). There were multiple choice questions regarding energy conservation, with three goofy answers and one obvious one. 'Cause that makes learning fun! This example is from memory so bear with me:

Brooklyn residents can save the most energy by:

A) staying in bed when hungover
B) eating their neighbors' garbage instead of cooking
C) keeping the AC on a low setting
D) braining a cheating spouse with a tire iron, instead of a plugged-in appliance such a curling iron

Now, even if you don't live in NYC, I think you probably have experience at some point in your life with a public utility that is run like a gangland racket. ConEd is just such a utility. These people have a serious set of onions hanging on them to be this pedantic towards their customers. They are constantly raising rates, dragging their feet on updating the grid, and generally stretching their middle finger to the fullest at all the people that hand them money month in and month out.
A few years ago, I was living in Sunnyside, on the western side of Queens, where the Reggaeton is loud and so are the women. Along with several other neighborhoods, we were with little or no power for about two weeks. My neighbors thought I was a rich man when I told them one of my outlets was working.
It was summer, naturally, and hotter than Satan's chili. Businesses struggled, a few failed. ConEd showed up with.....an ice truck. Know when an ice-truck was a helpful thing in NY? The Depression. That's where they sent us back to. Crises such as these can bring people together, though. Once the power went on, there was a meeting of the neighborhood elders. I was invited, since my working outlet had made me quite the local luminary. The agreement was made to never discuss the details of our survival with any outsiders. The houses we chopped up for cooking fuel, the fair-skinned individuals selected for sacrifice to Ba'al, the heftier community members that were eaten, all of this will be taken to my grave.
There were also incidents around that time of people being electrocuted simply by standing on metal plates ConEd had placed over work sites, and also managed to run current through. A lady died. Did anyone lose their job? Get a pay reduction? A stern talking to?
Course not, public service and accountability are mutually exclusive in New York, as in many populous places in America. The people at the top are still raking in ridiculous salaries for doing nothing. Thomas Edison, for whom the utility is named, would be turning over in his grave, if not for the fact that he also liked ripping people off and is also not in a grave but shambling about Menlo Park, NJ in a unspeakable state of living death (there have been sightings).

AAAH! 'DEYS ALL CROOKS!!
(shakes Grandpa fist, goes back to VHS tape of Sonny Liston fight)