Building a Tolerance

Yesterday a crazy man shot up a workplace. Twelve people were killed. Eight were wounded. The shooter was taken out by police.

I could have said that sentence at any point in the past ten years and it wouldn't make people blink. Those same words have crawled across millions of television screens so many times that it may as well just say 'Congress fails to achieve consensus on budget.' for all the reaction it inspires in this country.
A man walked into a secure Navy facility yesterday with a shotgun and pistol, rained bullets on people that thought they were in for a typical Monday at work, and it is barely a blip on the radar.
I don't know about you, but I haven't heard anyone talking about this, posting things about this, or staring at their hands in impotent bewilderment over this. It is being taken in stride. That's where we are. 

The funny thing is, it feels like the news media is trying to make it the same big deal it always should be. Breathless reports, horrified onlookers, the whole schmeer.  The president even pitched in with an address right after the attack, and even trotted out the old chestnut about 'calling for stricter gun control measures'. But even  he sounded bored.

It happened. We've gotten used to senseless gun violence in unexpected places. Yay? Is that a good thing? Because we're less horrified by this, maybe we're better equipped to live in the nightmarish world we've created? That's probably the most you can say about it. I would love to believe that this is a unconscious, collective effort by all of us to not allow the shooter to be made into a celebrity by the media. Maybe we are all becoming aware that the way these tragedies play out in the media, the way the shooters are made into celebrities, with their personal lives scrutinized and motives analyzed, is what inspires copycat crimes, and keeps us on this mobius strip of insanity and death. It would make my day to know we are all taking so much responsibility.

But I'm a cynic. The fact is that with Aurora and Newtown so fresh in everyone's memories, this just doesn't have the hook. Isn't scary enough.  'Unstable man who was discharged from the Navy under less-than-favorable circumstances shoots other military contractors' is like a headline you see on the main character's desk in some B-movie. Like someone just threw together all the usual pieces. The fact that these were people with families and lives to lead just doesn't break through the veil. We've seen it before.

And it doesn't get better from here.

Torture, muthafucka

I get it, we're angry. We've had another terrorist attack, innocent people were maimed and killed, and we have to go through the whole security clampdown tango all over again. We've been reminded once again that our children stand a good chance of being raised in a world defined by fear. There is no reason or excuse to be glib or dismissive about any of that.

But come the fuck on with the torture talk, already.

Everywhere you look, some internet tough guy is talking about all the things he would like to do to this Tsarnaev kid.

"We ought to waterboard this scumbag and see who his friends are!"

"Hang him by his balls and make him squeal! Nothing is too harsh for this POS!!!!"

"Lemme at 'im! I'll moiderize him for what he done did to all of us!"

(I'm Facebook friends with several cartoon characters from the 1940's)

Now, I understand visceral, hyperbolic reactions. I really wouldn't be me without them. Anyone who has read my impassioned, reactionary, and vaguely threatening open letter to the Motion Picture Academy regarding  Elia Kazan's lifetime achievement award can attest to this. What frightens and saddens me is when people look at me like I'm crazy or un-American for pointing out that we shouldn't do that. It's like I want the terrorists to win.
There were a lot of conversations like this in the wake of 9/11, and they came up again when the CIA's 'extraordinary rendition' program for high-value terrorist captives came to light. Thing is, like far too many national attempts at cognition, that conversation never really went anywhere. There are many people that have no issue with torture, and that is usually because they:

1) don't have a clear idea of what torture entails

2) don't think critically about what it does to a person to torture or be tortured

3) never listened carefully to the lyrics of the Jacksons'  1984 hit single "Torture"

There also seems to be a disconnect about why we shouldn't torture people up in here. Little thing called the Constitution, which sports a tasty little tidbit called the Eighth Amendment. It has to do with cruel and unusual punishment and whether or not we should do that (the gist of it is that, no we shouldn't). Don't concern yourselves too much with the details though, because lord knows that people in D.C. don't. Even one of the guys who we used to be able to count on to go against the grain of his own party and say 'Hey, not cool, stop with the torture' is joining the chorus to declare Tsarnaev an  'enemy combatant', effectively negating any rights he has as a defendant. 
That's right, John McCain. A guy who was tortured. He wants to see the hurdle of due process removed from this kid's case so that we can do whatever we want to him in a room without windows under the pretense of a need to extract information. You want to make this place a police state, go ahead. I doubt most people would notice anyway.
Just don't act like that doesn't make us exactly like the people that want to kill us.

Penn State of Delusion

I was sitting in a bar last night ( I'm getting really good at it) where every television had a different college football game on it. I didn't pay too much attention to it, even though the bright colors and graphics on the magic talking box can usually distract me pretty easily. There was important, drowning-out-the-voices-in-my-head-with-liquor business to attend to, and a game is not as important as making sure I don't follow the impulse to start prank-calling the mayor's office of Kansas City, MO again. I couldn't help but notice, however, that one of these games had Penn State playing in it, which I guess was surprising because I didn't think they were still a thing.
"Didn't they dissolve that school? Break it up into smaller, less scandal-plagued institutions so that the kids could go on learning and the State of Pennsylvania can go on gouging people that think their dumbass kid has a future?" I asked the bartender.
"Please, for the last time, stop making dreamcatchers out of straws and napkins, finish your drink and leave." was his less-than-helpful reply.
But I couldn't get my mind off of it. I couldn't move on from it. I read all the articles about people at Penn State in the wake of the Sandusky scandal. I read how they wanted to focus on the school and all the good things they think it offered the world. I knew they wanted healing, closure, blah blah etc.
Seeing them on the screen though, with their 'We are STILL Penn State' T-shirts made it a little too real for me.
Guess what, alumni, students, and faculty? THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOUR SCHOOL SPIRIT AND SHUTTING THE HELL UP IS THE BEST WAY TO START HEALING.
I don't mean your own healing, you have nothing to heal from. There were people who had unspeakable crimes perpetrated against them when they were children. Crimes that your venerable seat of learning saw fit to cover up, because....football. Maybe, for just a year or two, you could go without school spirit. Play your games, drink your beer, objectify and marginalize your female students, dumb down your curriculum to keep pace with the staggering ignorance that plagues this country, and all the rest of us will work on accepting that you still exist and receive state funding.

Maybe I'm just a grouch, or maybe it's because I hate football, people watching football, and watching people watch football.
Maybe I'm also biased because I never went to college, never was really a part of anything that I could feel proud of, and just simply can't stand it when anyone talks about the storied legacy of two dozen mouth-breathers standing in a field wearing the same colors.
The fact remains however, that Penn State needs to learn about shame. Lord knows I had to. If they need a few pointers, I'd be happy to take a school to school.

Flash Mobs are the new Flash Mobs

You kids won't rememeber this, as it was more than twelve minutes ago and we all have devolved our attention spans to the level of goldfish, but waaaay back in 2005, before every single news event was tinged with the metallic taste of impending apocalypse, flash mobs had a very different meaning than the one they have been ascribed today. A flash mob back then was simply one hundred and eighteen dorks agreeing to meet in a city plaza at an appointed time to do absolutely nothing but exist there as a group. It was roundly (and correctly) dismissed as hipster bullshit and the people with jobs, families to love, and lives to lead all quickly stopped paying attention.

Now these same productive citizens may need to again take notice of this phenomenom. The London riots, we are told, were assisted by social media. Mobs of no-good teens in Philadelphia, Wisconsin, and just yesterday, Maryland have gathered, supposedly with the assistance of twitter and the like, to wreak havoc. The growing fear in this country is that the trend will escalate until we see the kind of lawlessness witnessed by the UK earlier this month.

To all this I have to say, REALLY? Are you THAT fucking surprised? You raise these little bastards on a steady diet of sugar, immersive violent media, and a compelte lack of accountability and consequences, and you can't believe it when they act like a herd of yaks drunk on four loko? Know who we can blame (this blog is mostly about blame)? YOU. You didn't care. You looked the other way when you saw kids acting up on the bus and no one was smacking them for it. You didn't write your congressman or call your alderman or throttle your local school board when you saw that many high school graduates were reading at a second-grade level. You bought your nephew Call of Duty when you knew damn well he couldn't possibly fathom what it means to go to war and kill someone. You think they can tell the difference between real and make believe??? They like Drake and Katy Perry! They are basically all functionally retarded now and THEY are the future of this country, insofar as it has one.

Point being, all of us dropped the ball in a big way for the past generation or so. These kids don't really get what the trade deficit or national debt is, they just know it means they are screwed. They may be idiots, but they know who made them that way. Lock your windows.

Well and truly screwed

Wow, it's been a while.
This blog smells funny too, I left a sandwich here after my last post, but that's why God made Lysol.
Anyhoo, we are all completely up shit creek. Again. Or...still, I forget which.
Why? We are bumping our heads on the debt ceiling and Washington wants to do absolutely nothing about it.
That's right kids, it's INTERNET FEAR MONGERING. The best mongering of all.
Everyone knows that as soon as this country defaults, all senior citizens on Social Security will immediately starve to death and government agencies will become independent fiefdoms that only grant building permits, driver's licenses, and supply contracts to wealthy lords and vassals that swear fealty to them. Most frightening of all, every last one of us is going to be enslaved by the Red Chinese. You've seen how they treat their own citizenry, how do you think they are going to treat us?

But seriously folks....this same tired farce has played out time and again. A deadline is set on large policy decision, and both parties posture and stall so that they can paint the other as slow to action and out of touch. Essentially the legislative and executive body are like two naked fat guys fighting in front of childen: everyone watching it knows it's wrong, no one wants to get close enough to do anything about it. Why do we put up with it? Because we are all technology obsessed, internet-absorbed dullards? That argument doesn't wash anymore. Look at what other countries do with their internets, they organize revolts and remove firmly entrenched despots! Sure some people have gotten killed, but how do YOU make omelettes?

Keep the vote in!

Apparently it's time for another dog-and-pony-show election season in this country, I can tell because every square inch of the media is filled with biased analysis, wishful punditry, and the continuing acquiescence to political consultants that turn each of these contests into a robust spinning and disinformation competition.
For our part here in NY, we have the gubernatorial race to keep us marginally entertained until they approve the proposed Death Race league. This one is a tale as as old as time, a crazy man (Carl Paladino) versus a politically entitled man (Andrew Cuomo).
Background, for those that need it: Andrew is the son of former Governor Mario Cuomo, has a good head of hair, is the State Attorney General and only betrays his fear of failure in his father's eyes with a half-creepy smile.
Carl is a lunatic business owner from upstate with virtually no political experience. He shows little concern for social mores when it comes to making personal threats, forwarding racially and sexually offensive emails, and having children outside the bonds of marriage. How is this formerly marginal figure even showing up on the radar, you may ask? Silly rabbit, he did it by seizing on the extremely constructive, helpful environment of vitriol and blind rage among the constituency. It's now the easiest way into the political sphere these days.
I'm trying to remember another fringe figure that tried to capture power this way,
Madolph Mitler.....Badolph Kilter....nah that ain't it...
Anyway, the man promises 'blood on the floor' in Albany, capturing the frustration that voters have felt towards the unfettered corruption that has defined the state capitol for years. It's a nice sentiment, and I would like to take it literally, but me, I'm sick. However, it really is just an empty promise from a man with aspirations above his station. Believe me, I know what those sound like.
Andrew, for his part, had a great strategy. Columnists said he was too quiet and complacent and needed to respond to Carl's insane accusations and bellicose shenanigans. Andrew just sat back and let the nutjob talk himself into a corner. I employ this strategy at work as well as in the subway.
Carl's comments that Andrew should never have taken his kids to a gay pride parade because of "they wear these little speedos and grind against each other." That's pretty much all it took. However you may feel about kids watching dudes touch on other dudes in the middle of the street, Carl is dead in the water now. The only people that will back him up publicly on these comments are ultra-conservative Orthodox rabbis. And these guys aren't even going to vote for him, they know you can't rely on a kook, not for your plumbing, not for the state of New York.

When smoking is outlawed, we can only bum smokes from outlaws

I have been a regular smoker since I was 15. I have never once portrayed this as the smartest move I could have made. It has wrought a lot of physical and cumulative financial damage. It has made my clothes smell like tobacco, which is worse than the mothball and circus performer sweat smell that would usually permeate my wardrobe. I am at risk for any number of diseases and any personal insurance I buy would be way more expensive than some prissy non-smoker.
But guess what? It's my right to be this stupid. We are in America.
I've been reading about how NYC Mayor Generalissimo Bloomberg wants to ban smoking in public parks. I don't know how often you use the public parks in NYC, but the biggest problem with them probably isn't cigarette smoke.
People on methadone passing out? Weirds out the tourists.
Hippies that think they are musical geniuses? Ruined a nice day or two.
But cigarettes? Is this how far we are going to take this nanny-state crapola??

Apparently, yes. People love the idea. Non-smoking people, of course, but they're the ones whose rights matter, just because they are breeding and voting and not hacking up phlegm at the newsstand every morning.
Erosion of personal liberties means nothing to these people because they want to feel safe, and that illusion of safety can be granted by a megalomaniacal self-made billionaire that managed to get a city council shit-scared enough to let him run for a third term. Also he eats kittens. In front of children. In a cabin he has in Vermont specifically set aside for these kinds of activities.

Who's to blame? We are. We let it happen. We are apathetic and bored with politics. The NY state primary on the 14th had a turnout of about 10% of registered voters, which means about 5% of the voting-age population actually bothered. They are mostly retirees, because the rest of us are too involved in our Twitters, iPads, and facebookings.

(shakes fist, mixes self a Harvey Wallbanger.)